Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Questions That Keep Me Up At Night

Hi. You wanna know what's something that bothers me? Probably not, I mean who cares what some kid from the midwest has to say right? Anyways, something that's always bothered me is the ability to make a problem out of nothing. We exist on this planet with no structured purpose. We are born, we live (some of us do anyway) and we die, simple as that. In this simple life however, we're born with the gift and the curse we call conscious thought, and it's a bitch I'm telling you. Through this thinking process, we create this gold standard for what our life is supposed to be like, and that standard is to be happy day in and day out, nonstop, for our entire lives. My question is why? Why create this unrealistic goal of unlimited contentment, when the majority of our lives are filled with hardship and despair? I'm not saying it's wrong to want to be happy, but it is wrong to be unfeasible and want happiness every waking moment in your entire life. We need hardship in our lives. Without a little bit of stress in our lives, what would drive us to do anything? A life without a little bit of stress once in a while isn't a life worth living in my opinion. With that being said, I'd love to hear an opinion on this, so if anyone wants to comment on this feel free to. Thanks for reading and stay tuned for more.


Wednesday, April 26, 2017


                It’s been a while since I’ve last logged into my blog. I’ll admit, a part of me had forgotten the short term popularity this website had generated, and yet here I am, writing (eventually typing by the time you read this) to this hollow entity I’ve created. I graduate high school in 30 days, 24 minutes, and 19 seconds from writing this, and I could not be more anxious to leave the secondary level of education into my undergraduate studies. With the timer counting down the seconds to the moment I wait for, I can’t help but start remembering what got me to this point. A lot of people look to their memory for some validation of how they’ve changed over time, and how they’re not the same people coming into high school as they are leaving. With that in mind, I believe I have not changed at all over my four years in school, and I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. So many people have left my life. Some left for good, and I miss a lot of them. Thinking about them reminds me of what life used to be like, and how simple it used to be.


Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Dreams and Power

Hi everyone. I have to be honest with all of you who still open this blog up to check in on any content I may release. I feel it’s my duty as a creator, and as a person to be honest with the way things are going right now. My second semester has started today. It is the last semester of high school for me, and it seems like everyone is up in arms and energized. I am not energized; as a matter of fact, I am exhausted. My exhaustion reaches beyond the academic realm and has made its way into my family life. Suddenly the talks of what college I want to go to or what major I want to take are no longer discussed, but argued. The things I find in my short life to give me pleasure, or give me a moment of contentment are being criticized on occasion. I think the thing that disturbs me the most are my dreams. I used to anticipate going to bed because I would have dreams of pleasure, success, and dreams where impossibilities become possible. Over the last couple of months, I have been having dreams that have become more surreal as time goes on. Dreams where I’ll be in my home with my girlfriend, calmly enjoying a film or a nice cup of coffee, are interrupted by a knock at the door. Upon opening the door, I see an old friend of mine standing there. Before even asking what she is doing there, she forces her way into my home, and attempts to kill me. This is the basic template of a dream I’ve had for about four times in the last week. Every time I have this dream, something more and more bizarre occurs. In the most recent rendition of this wild episode (just this past night) she was accompanied by her boyfriend and a few unrecognizable people. The odd thing about these dreams is that they never succeed in ending my life, for I always wake up before they do. Upon waking up from the dream, I make an attempt to fall asleep, but I can’t. So there I lay awake for hours until the morning comes. I don’t know why I’m having these dreams, or why I can’t fall asleep, but it’s something that makes one think what it really means to be grounded as an individual. I hope the dreams end; I really do need my sleep.